Category : MY BLOG
HEALING STARTS FROM WITHIN
Have you ever woken up and thought, why the hell did I dream of that for? Well I did , it was a random dream that was so intense that I woke up tearful. I had dreamt that I was still with a certain ex who pretty much broke my heart. I put it down to a random dream, but the next night it happened again.
This then lead to three weeks of dreaming about all my exes that had done wrong, been awful or had really hurt me.
By week one I realised that it was another spiritual boot camp. I was healing my broken heart of bad relationships. There were quite a few I can tell you!
The dreams felt so real it was like I was reliving them. Every thought feeling and behaviour was revisited during dream state.
The first thing I did was dive into my spiritual knowledge itinerary. What could I use or do to help me understand, heal from and end my apparent heart break?
Firstly I called upon Archangel Raphael as he is the Archangel of Healing. I then called upon Archangel Azrael. Now Archangel Azrael is usually the Archangel of death. Not the grim reaper! He helps souls part from their body and acclimatise to their new form. He also assists people who are suffering the loss of that loved one. However, he also assists with grieving and moving on from situations that brought us harm. So I decided to call upon him.
After I had done the invocation, I decided to pull a few angel cards and to my amazement the first two cards were Azrael and Raphael. The next two were, ‘time to heal from past hurt‘ and ‘importance in knowing your self worth and value‘
Wow they had heard my plea already!
I then had an Amethyst crystal resting on my heart chakra when I was laying down which was pretty much most of the day.
Amethyst amongst other benefits help you to grieve situations or people.
Now I didn’t think that I was grieving these losers from my past but obviously my guides and angels knew differently!
Admittedly it was tough. A lot of the time I woke up crying or still feeling the love I had for these men. I couldn’t understand how this was helping me, reliving each let down.
However, I diligently wrote out my feelings in my soul journal and started to see a pattern between the lines.
Incredibly and I have to add this now. I have at this very second received a message about my ex who stole thousands from me after my accident?! Talk about synchronicity! Wow! Karma works, I swear.
Anyway back to my journal.
ARE YOU WITH THE WRONG MAN OR WOMAN?
When I started to read over my experiences and what had happened in the relationships in black and white, it hit me like a bolt of lightening. I have had such low self esteem that I had attracted predators time and time again. Like attracts like, so what I thought of myself and believed about myself was unhealthy and so I naturally attracted the same ilk of men.
I realised that this had to change.
I needed to value myself, put me first and love everything about me unconditionally.
The first thing I did was make a TO DO list in my soul journal.
Students of my PRISM LIVING course will know all about this! My Soul Journals are my most precious possession. I cannot recommend enough keeping a diary of your innermost thoughts and feelings. The words in black and white provide so much clarity and power!
My first TO DO was self care. I could not cope with daily living so I decided to surrender and reach out. I asked for a carer and help and I soon got it.
I got a cleaner in as i was not able to. So instead of crying over a mess in the house this was now resolved.
I got a dog walker for my babies to release the guilt of not being able to take them out.
I decided to say three things every morning that I liked about myself.
I decided that I would not have ANYONE enter my house who I didn’t really want there.
I decided to improve my diet and try to manage my comfort eating.
I repeatedly placed a blessing on the names of the people who had abused me, hurt me, lied to me and cheated on me. I sent them pink roses and asked for me to be let go emotionally from their energy that was obviously still connected to me. I did this with past friends as well.
I arranged for a counsellor to attend my home.
After doing this for just two weeks I felt incredibly different. To receive help in my daily care, to help me get through my pain emotionally and to love myself was life changing.
I started to get regular contact from friends I had let fade because of my illness. These were my true die hard friends.
I find now that I am surrounded by the most caring, kindhearted genuine friends who have no ulterior motive.
If there is anyone who comes into my life with the wrong energy, their true colours are exposed so quickly it is quite remarkable. My psychic intuition rings out stronger than it ever has as soon as their energy changes to darker motives.
I am now free from the binds that tied me to past hurt.
Write out who has hurt you. Make changes to move away from that energy. Analyse your current relationships and see if you are in a mutually beneficial relationship with unconditional love.
I was such a people pleaser. I was so desperate to be loved. I would agree to things that I really didn’t want to do. I allowed people that drained me and just used me for my esoteric knowledge to stay in my life. I felt too weak and unsure of myself to say NO. That ended by the conclusion of this particular boot camp.
Healing from hurt is never easy. Nothing that is right is ever easy. But believe me when you make the changes and start listening to your inner child, you become empowered. The beauty of self belief and self love is truly remarkable. It changes you as a person. I will never let anyone ever take me for granted again. Do the same! Change your life!
It certainly worked for me.
After this period of self realisation, the dreams stopped of my exes and I felt a profound sense of freedom and inner strength.
I started to look forward to 2017 with such zest as I knew this would be the end of my dark night of the soul (Please google this) and my resurrection. I couldn’t thank the angels and the Spirit World enough. They were dragging through my every mistake and reason for failing in life.
I still get tearful now with so much gratitude as I look at my life now. I am of course still chronically ill but it doesn’t matter. I am surrounded by love, support and respect. I adore my home and my fur babies, I am sugar and gluten free and on a bad day like this when I can’t get out of bed, rather than enshroud myself with self pity and sadness I have the wonderful opportunity to write and share my knowledge and experience with you beautiful people. What could be better?
But whilst this seems like my fairy tale ending, I still had to get there! There were still many battles ahead of me!
But at that time in my life, with no permanent home and feeling so alone in the world with no career, I envisioned nothing but the Phoenix as soon as I started to slip into emotional darkness. Like a phoenix from the flames, I knew that I was going to be reborn. I had faith stronger than ever that my life was going to be amazing.
I was still bed bound most of the time, still in pain 24/7 but my mind kept me focused. Yes I had horrendous days and still had obstacles to face in the next coming years, but, I KNEW I was going to be OK. I just had to be patient and honour my healing journey. That was the difference.
Until next time