THE POWER OF ANIMAL TOTEMS

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THE POWER OF ANIMAL TOTEMS

Hi all,

CHANGE OF PACE

As you most probably saw on Facebook, I have decided to put my soul diaries in book format  as so many of you have emailed and messaged me with this idea.  So I have taken it on board and then realised if I carried on blogging about it there would be spoilers to the book! Lol.

So I had a little meditation on the subject and I was told to just address spiritual matter that would assist you in your daily lives.

I would also love to answer any questions you may have through the comments section on this page.  But remember you have to subscribe first!

So ask away! I am all yours!

Here to help!

Here to help!

BABY TOAD

I was wondering what to start this new blog on and within a few seconds I noticed something in the corner of my eye.  Right by my bedroom door was this little fellow.  He sat there for about 40 minutes.  When I asked, “Are you an animal totem?” He hopped off!

My lil animal totem

My lil animal totem

So I took it as a yes!  He was also sitting next to a feather, all be it not a white fluffy one that angels bring, but still a cute little feather!

Now the strangest thing is, before I noticed him, I was not only thinking on my blog I was having a bit of a crisis.

For those of you that know me and have been reading my blog I am suffering chronic illness .  The only way for me to focus on goals and still help human kind at the moment is through my writing.

I can get upset sometimes that I can not currently tour and visit people in person so writing to me is so very important. Plus I can do it in my pj’s!

BRAIN EXPLOSION!

I have been getting the expected ‘no’s from agents for my paranormal fiction book EARTH WALKERS and was feeling a little jaded and my self confidence took a little tumble down self esteem lane! I have only queried it 15 times so I really need to be patient!  But, I am the sort of person that then jumps about looking for another solution.  So I have decided to write non fiction books aswell using my vast esoteric knowledge.

So…… when I am thinking, should I carry on with fiction? Should I concentrate more on non fiction?  Do people care what I write about? Am I wasting my time? Shall I just stay in bed and forget the whole thing?  My guides must have thought, “Oh God she is having yet  another brain explosion, best send her a sign!”  (Feel so sorry for them, I wonder if they have Valium up there?)

Yep, hair pulling time!

Yep, hair pulling time!

 

So they then send a  baby toad!  Don’t ask me how they do it!  You may as well ask me one on rocket science!  I  have witnessed over the years so many times weird behaviour and oddly timed creatures in my path right at the magic time that I need them.

So after my little crisis and watching my warty little visitor I google ‘Toad animal totem’

Wow here was the answer:

If a toad totem has recently entered your life, consider the following points:

Are you going through an important transition in your life? Toad spirit symbolizes transitional phases of one’s life because of their own unique growing phases: the egg, the tadpole, and finally, the toad. Maybe you’re going through a big life change, in spirit or in reality, and frog totem has entered your life to remind you that change is a natural and positive part of life.

CHANGING FROM A WORKING PSYCHIC MEDIUM TO A WORKING PSYCHIC WRITER HAS DAUNTED ME SO MUCH SO THIS IS SPOT ON.  I AM ALSO BEING SHOWN MUCH DEEPER PHILOSOPHY AND UNIVERSAL UNDERSTANDING.

Are you bogged down or bored with your day to day activities? If you’ve gotten too comfortable in your day to day life, frog spirit may be here to remind you to clear out your “muddy waters” and rejuvenate your spirit by doing things that bring you passion

TOTALLY TRUE I AM BED BOUND MOST DAYS WHICH CAN SOMETIMES LEAD TO NEGATIVITY IF I LET IT. WRITING DOES REJUVENATE ME ALONG WITH THE PRISM COURSES AND MEDITATION I DO.  SO THIS IS OBVIOUSLY SAYING KEEP ON GOING!

Are you having trouble committing yourself to one single goal?  HAHA! A BIG FAT GLOOPY RESOUNDING  YES!

Frogs and toads alike enjoy leaping from place to place, and if you feel particularly drawn to one of these amphibians, you may tend to be a totem person that leaps from one thing to another as well. You might need to take some time to decide what your goals are and assess if you are taking the proper steps to get there.

QUESTION ANSWERED.  SIT BACK, TAKE STOCK AND DO ONE THING AT A TIME!

See? That’s how it works.  You have most probably worked out that I am not an airy fairy psychic.  I am grounded, I am an open minded sceptic and do question everything.  So I don’t think every time I see an animal in my garden it is a totem.    But when you whisper to a toad when it has sat there for 40 minutes “Are you an animal totem?” and within seconds it hops off, that’s pretty weirdy!

I have had it happen so many times with dragonflies, robins, birds, butterflies and deer to name but a few.  Robins and butterflies are by far the most common though.  They are very popular with your loved ones for sending a message to you to say that they are OK.  This will also occur at special times, i.e anniversaries, relevant dates or if you have asked for a sign.

PROPHECY

I even had a prophetic totem visitation.  My ex brother in law came through and told me at his funeral he would send the butterfly indoors as a sign from him.

At the wake I was sitting in the lounge and a butterfly came in through the conservatory and landed on my shoulder and sat there!

ACTING UNNATURALLY?

So if you are looking at a creature that is acting weird or turns up at a certain time every day or is perhaps a loved ones favourite pet that keeps rocking up in your garden (Not the actual one of course!), take note!

You may also be dreaming of the same animal regularly or seeing one in a meditation.  However they wish to be brought to you take note of this old ancient Native American Phenomena and google that animal!

We are continually being brought signs and synchronicity from our loved ones, guides, guardian angels and Archangels, but we choose to ignore them, doubt them or plain old poo poo them!

Poor loves! It must be like playing Give us a Clue or Catchphrase under an invisibility cloak!

Hello? Can you see me?

Hello? Can you see me?

I get so many emails and messages from people that need help and can’t seem to see a way forward.  If we just stop, open our hearts, eyes and ears and live in the present with a bit more calm then we will begin to notice and pick up on the fact that we are being guided more than we realise.

So look out for the animals!

Look forward to any questions you have, have a good week xxxxx


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The Boot Camp of my Mind

HEALING STARTS FROM WITHIN

Have you ever woken up and thought, why the hell did I dream of that for?  Well I did , it was a random dream that was so intense that I woke up tearful.  I had dreamt that I was still with a certain ex who pretty much broke my heart.  I put it down to a random dream, but the next night it happened again.

This then lead to three weeks of dreaming about all my exes that had done wrong, been awful or had really hurt me.

By week one I realised that it was another spiritual boot camp.  I was healing my broken heart of bad relationships.  There were quite a few I can tell you!

The dreams felt so real it was like I was reliving them.  Every thought feeling and behaviour was revisited during dream state.

I needed to form a plan

I needed to form a plan

The first thing I did was dive into my spiritual knowledge itinerary.  What could I use or do to help me understand, heal from and end my apparent heart break?

ANGELS

Firstly I called upon Archangel Raphael as he is the Archangel of Healing.  I then called upon Archangel Azrael.  Now Archangel Azrael is usually the Archangel of death.  Not the grim reaper!  He helps souls part from their body and acclimatise to their new form.  He also assists people who are suffering the loss of that loved one.  However, he also assists with grieving and moving on from situations that brought us harm.  So I decided to call upon him.

After I had done the invocation, I decided to pull a few angel cards and to my amazement the first two cards were Azrael and Raphael.  The next two were, ‘time to heal from past hurt‘ and ‘importance in knowing your self worth and value

Wow they had heard my plea already!

I then had an Amethyst crystal resting on my heart chakra when I was laying down which was pretty much most of the day.

Amethyst amongst other benefits help you to grieve situations or people.

Now I didn’t think that I was grieving these losers from my past but obviously my guides and angels knew differently!

TOUGH TIMES

Admittedly it was tough.  A lot of the time I woke up crying or still feeling the love I had for these men.  I couldn’t understand how this was helping me, reliving each let down.

However, I diligently wrote out my feelings in my soul journal and started to see a pattern between the lines.

Incredibly and I have to add this now. I have at this very second received a message about my ex who stole thousands from me after my accident?! Talk about synchronicity! Wow! Karma works, I swear.

Anyway back to my journal.

ARE YOU WITH THE WRONG MAN OR WOMAN?

Writing in journals heals the soul

Writing in journals heals the soul

When I started to read over my experiences and what had happened in the relationships in black and white, it hit me like a bolt of lightening.  I have had such low self esteem that I had attracted predators time and time again.  Like attracts like, so what I thought of myself and believed about myself was unhealthy and so I naturally attracted the same ilk of men.

You are who you attract

You are who you attract

I realised that this had to change.

I needed to value myself, put me first and love everything about me unconditionally.

MY LIST

The first thing I did was make a TO DO list in my soul journal.

Students of my PRISM LIVING course will know all about this!  My Soul Journals are my most precious possession.  I cannot recommend enough keeping a diary of your innermost thoughts and feelings.  The words in black and white provide so much clarity and power!

My first TO DO was self care.  I could not cope with daily living so I decided to surrender and reach out.  I asked for a carer and help and I soon got it.

I got a cleaner in as i was not able to.  So instead of crying over a mess in the house this was now resolved.

I got a dog walker for my babies to release the guilt of not being able to take them out.

I decided to say three things every morning that I liked about myself.

I decided that I would not have ANYONE enter my house who I didn’t really want there.

I decided to improve my diet and try to manage my comfort eating.

I repeatedly placed a blessing on the names of the people who had abused me, hurt me, lied to me and cheated on me.  I sent them pink roses and asked for me to be let go emotionally from their energy that was obviously still connected to me. I did this with past friends as well.

I arranged for a counsellor to attend my home.

After doing this for just two weeks I felt incredibly different. To receive help in my daily care, to help me get through my pain emotionally and to love myself was life changing.

I started to get regular contact from friends I had let fade because of my illness.  These were my true die hard friends.

I find now that I am surrounded by the most caring, kindhearted genuine friends who have no ulterior motive.

If there is anyone who comes into my life with the wrong energy, their true colours are exposed so quickly it is quite remarkable.  My psychic intuition rings out stronger than it ever has  as soon as their energy changes to darker motives.

I am now free from the binds that tied me to past hurt.

Write out who has hurt you.  Make changes to move away from that energy.  Analyse your current relationships and see if you are in a mutually beneficial relationship with unconditional love.

If not

CHANGE IT!

I was such a people pleaser.  I was so desperate to be loved.  I would agree to things that I really didn’t want to do.  I allowed people that drained me and just used me for my esoteric knowledge to stay in my life.  I felt too weak and unsure of myself to say NO.  That ended by the conclusion of this particular boot camp.

Healing from hurt is never easy.  Nothing that is right is ever easy.  But believe me when you make the changes and start listening to your inner child, you become empowered.  The beauty of self belief and self love is truly remarkable.  It changes you as a person.  I will never let anyone ever take me for granted again.  Do the same!  Change your life!

It certainly worked for me.

After this period of self realisation, the dreams stopped of my exes and I felt a profound sense of freedom and inner strength.

I started to look forward to 2017  with such zest as I knew this would be the end of my dark night of the soul  (Please google this) and my resurrection. I couldn’t thank the angels and the Spirit World enough.  They were dragging through my every mistake and reason for failing in life.

I still get tearful now with so much gratitude as I look at my life now.  I am of course still chronically ill but it doesn’t matter.  I am surrounded by love, support and respect.  I adore my home and my fur babies, I am sugar and gluten free and on a bad day like this when I can’t get out of bed, rather than enshroud myself with self pity and sadness I have the wonderful opportunity to write and share my knowledge and experience with you beautiful people.  What could be better?

But whilst this seems like my fairy tale ending, I still had to get there!  There were still many battles ahead of me!

PHOENIX

But at that time in my life, with no permanent home and feeling so alone in the world with no career, I envisioned nothing but the Phoenix as soon as I started to slip into emotional darkness.  Like a phoenix from the flames, I knew that I was going to be reborn.  I had faith stronger than ever that my life was going to be amazing.

I am the Phoenix

I am the Phoenix

I was still bed bound most of the time, still in pain 24/7 but my mind kept me focused.  Yes I had horrendous days and still had obstacles to face in the next coming years, but, I KNEW I was going to be OK.  I just had to be patient and honour my healing journey.  That was the difference.

Until next time

Nicky xx

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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ME Myself and I. My Soul Diaries 9

FRIENDSHIP, NIGHTMARES AND THE LADYBIRD

I woke up and I was breathing like I had just ran a marathon.  I was soaked in sweat and felt like I had just been dragged from a time warp, a time in the past that I had never wanted to return to, ever.

During my teens after my dad had passed my mum unfortunately married, what I can only describe as nothing short of an animal.  Every day was like walking on egg shells hoping to appease him to prevent his frenzied violent attacks.  Fear roamed the corridors of our home like a malevolent shadow, waiting for any excuse to manifest itself.  I had along with other traumas, thought that I had dealt with this time in my life with therapy, but obviously not, as I was being taken back to that time every time I fell asleep.

The nightmares were so real that I thought I was dissolving into some sort of breakdown.  I was back as a teenager, angry, frustrated and  in the fear and terror of his vitriolic words, sneers and violence.  I just couldn’t work out why this was happening.  It was 1 Jan 2015 and I could see nothing but a black year ahead.  I just couldn’t shake out of it.  I was feeling like a victim again with the nightmares bringing all of my worried thoughts and innermost fears to the surface.  Why was I being made to suffer? The state I was in made me even more prone to not answering the phone.  It would buzz silently by my side but I refused to connect to the outside world, not even my closest friends had access, including Jay.  I couldn’t cope with talking, having any conversation or projecting my misery onto anyone else. I was isolating and I knew it.

THE LADYBIRD

My Totem Ladybird

My Totem Ladybird

As I went to grab my glass of water I was just about to take a sip and nearly swallowed a ladybird.  I carefully took it out of the inner rim of the glass and placed it onto the windowsill.  I then went back to sleep as the insomnia was horrific so most days I slept all day.

I woke up about 9pm fed my poor babies and was wide awake.  I had had yet another nightmare but chose to put it to the back of my mind as I literally ‘lost’ myself in Lost, a mysterious show where people are marooned on a very strange island.  I could hear a flickering sound and after a while realised that it was coming from under my lampshade.  It was the lady bird again.  Fearing she may burn on the light bulb, I caught her and took her downstairs to the lounge.

 

THE CEMETERY

I then decided to walk through the cemetery so the dogs could get a run.  Looking back on it, anyone from the road would have thought they had seen a ghost! I was in a white hooded dressing gown and carrying a torch!  I found a weird sense of solace sitting there in the silence under the starlit sky and the moon.  With no superficial light it felt ethereal.  I used to have many conversations with the angels there, in the black velvet of night.  But I never seemed to get an answer.  I felt an irony in that place, I felt like a ghost drifting through time and space with no specific goal or reason. It was so peaceful. I could understand why I had been given this space.

easebourne_cemetery_at_night_by_yoshi_1981

My starlit sanctuary

 

DIVINE INTERVENTION

When I walked back into the house, I of course went straight back to bed.  I saw something in the corner of my eye and saw that the ladybird was sitting on my pillow.  It just didn’t click, but remember the bumble bee?  So I huffed, lifted her up again and put her on the windowsill behind the net curtain.  I must have drifted off as at exactly 2.22 am I woke up and what was sitting on my hand?  The ladybird. I checked to see if this was a second ladybird, but there was nothing behind the net curtain, I recognised the markings anyway. It then finally hit me that this was a totem.  I googled it:

A ladybird heralds a time of luck.  Higher goals and new heights are possible.  Worries begin to dissipate.  New happiness will come about.  Don’t go too fast or try too hard to fulfil your dreams.  Let things flow at a natural pace.  In due course wishes come true.  Leave your worries behind you.  Do not be scared to live your own truth.  Protect your truth and know that it is yours to honour.

So it was about accepting my situation and allowing the processes to flow and resting throughout.  It was also telling me that I had to accept me and my new truth. It was to be difficult as I had always been driven to be the best at everything I did, as being good at doing nothing was the hugest obstacle I had to overcome.  It then hit me, was I being healed from my abuse trauma? Was there still a recess somewhere in my soul that tenaciously protected the memories and experiences of that trauma and they were finally being exorcised for good?  Was this part of the boot camp?  So many questions, but I just didn’t have the answers.

What I will say is these nightmares paved way to something magnificent and another tool to my itinerary that would prove useful in future years.  I just couldn’t see it at the time.  As for the luck and happiness to come, it was exactly right, but again I was in the black and at that moment in time there was no flicker of light to help me along my dark tunnel of isolation and misery.

I then googled 222:

222 as an angel number is one of the more common sequences shown to those who are awakening to the presence and guidance from the angelic realm.

The Angel Number 222 has a very significant and powerful vibration. It contains the attributes of 2 and 22, the Master Builder Number of inspiration, big ideas and the focus and persistence needed to manifest big dreams into reality.

222 as an Angel Number has to do with manifestation, keeping in balance, and creating blessings on a huge and global scale.

When you repetitively see 222, it’s a message from the angels that you’re on the right track. You’re in the right place at the right time. Stay positive, know that your angels are supporting you, but remember to ask for angelic assistance.

222 offers assurance that things are and will work out for the best when you focus on your desired outcome, stay positive, go with the flow, and continue taking steps in creating your desired result.

The Angel Number 222 is a reminder to keep the faith, to stay focused on what you want rather than what you do not, and to trust that all is well, and everything is working out according to Divine will for the highest and greatest good.

How inspiring!  It was a perfect explanation of my circumstances and my dream of publishing Earth Walkers, and just to back this up when I went back to sleep, I had another very lucid dream, another story that I was to write.  It is called Coffin Crashers and is a romantic adult comedy ficton about two girls who work in a funeral home and gate crash the funerals to find love!  It also enables me to bring in facts about the afterlife and the journey of our soul.  It’s an excellent story.  So perhaps I was being taken onto a new more creative path?  Becoming a writer of fantasy fiction?  Who knew.

The next three weeks brought the most horrific nightmares connected to my past, but miraculously, the dreams started to change.  By the end of this particular part of my spiritual boot camp, healing abuse, including an attack I experienced when I was 7, I found I was taking control of each dream and in the end won over the attacker and my mum’s ex husband.  After a few nights of me being the victor.  The nightmares stopped.

Yes I was indeed being healed finally of this past trauma.  It made me realise that perhaps the shadows in my soul were being erased in order for me to be clear, light and ready for my new spiritual work.

FRIENDSHIP

The morning after the last victorious nightmare, I went down to the front door to let the dogs out.  There on the doorstep was a basket full of food.  There was no note, no clue to who had left it there, it was just full of essentials that I needed.  As I put my arm up to steady myself by the front door, the ladybird was sitting on my arm.  I started to cry, I felt so grateful and most of all loved and thought of.  The food parcels, cooked meals and toiletries were left regularly on the doorstep.  I may not be reaching out, but I was being cared for in a most magical way.  I can honestly say, I would not be where I am now without my friends.

Never underestimate the true power of genuine friendship.  These are the beautiful souls who will be there for the highlights and the shadows.  I have found that my close friends are my family, my soul cluster.  Even though I hadn’t learned it yet, they were and are my lifeline.  Please if you suffer from a chronic illness, reach out to your friends, they are just waiting for you to ask, trust me.  There is no weakness in asking for help, if anything it is a refusal of self love and self care.  I still struggle, but I am getting there!

SUPPORT

I would also like to add, that if you have been the victim of any abuse or trauma, it may still be held in your soul as a shadow, even though you think you may have dealt with it, it could still be affecting your life now.

Please consider counselling if you are open to this type of therapy.  There are many other holistic ways through hypnosis, NLP, healing, CBT etc.

 

Archangel Raphael

Archangel Raphael

Ask Archangel Raphael to help heal your way forward.  It doesn’t have to be a specific prayer, just give him permission to come and help you.  He works on a beautiful green ray of light.  Imagine this colour in your head as you ask him to come and help you.

Archangel Michael, the warrior, is also a good Archangel to call upon, on a radiant blue light he can help you move forward with strength and focus and help cut any ties that bind you to the past.

Archangel Michael

Archangel Michael

 

Generally in the next few days you will get a specific sign from them to say that they had answered your call.  It can be anything to a feather delivered in an unnatural environment, an angel symbol or anything that will hit you as ‘weird’ or a representation of the angel realms!

Don’t allow your past to create your present and your future.  get rid of it once and for all.

 

My tale of the lady bird was a sad one, I found out she needed to be hibernated.  I placed her in a matchbox and put her in the porch but found her dead in the spring.  I was so upset!  But in her death, it almost felt symbolic, like there was a death of part of me which could surely only lead to resurrection…..


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ME Myself and I. My Soul Diaries 6

YOU ARE TO WRITE WHAT YOU HAVE DREAMT

The Sunday after my bumble bee episode, I accumulated another tool to add to my spiritual itinerary. It seemed that in the last week the heavens were initiating everything they could to get me back in a positive mind space and strength to fight.

YOU CAN HEAL YOUR LIFE

My friend randomly said, ‘I don’t know why, but you need to watch this.

Now I had read the book and worked on the exercises contained within it.  This book is priceless, if you find yourself in the wilderness, lost and desperate get this book or watch the DVD.  This book gives you the compass, map and route to find your way home.  When I watched the video, I cried through most of it listening to the individual stories of people’s struggles and triumphs.  It gave me another kick up the backside in wanting to get back on track mentally and spiritually.

YOU CAN HEAL YOUR LIFE by LOUISE HAY is a ‘must have’ to adorn your book shelf. It is like my personal bible.

There are such beautiful illustrations in the book and the affirmations and guidance in finding a happier, more contented you, are simply priceless.  I recommend getting the book rather than downloading it as the visual quality of each page can’t be missed!

You can heal your life by Louise Hay

This is the best copy for illustration

This is the best copy for illustration

So now I was ‘working it’ thinking about my life, changing all the negativity into positivity.  Even when the pain became unbearable I would imagine me walking through the Crystal Palace trying to distance myself from my mutinous body.  But believe me it was very difficult in the early days. I had a night just after that Sunday where my reality hit and I felt desolate yet again.

Sometimes in the dark hours your mind works overtime and mine was working like a jet fuelled engine. I cried out and said to whoever wanted to listen ‘I get it, but why? You need to deliver something as I am not going to survive with only stupid little signs, HELP ME!’ I was sobbing like a baby, I just wanted a lifeline, a reason for being.

THE DREAM

Now I know I have already put this story of my dream in a different blog but it is SO incredible I will mention it again.

The following morning after shouting the odds to up above I was awoken by my friend banging my door with the hoover.  I was so frustrated as I was in the middle of the most magnificent dream.  There were tears flooding down my face and my heart was beating out of my chest, I was literally breathless.  The dream was euphoric, the colours, feelings and visions held such a vibrancy I could do nothing but yearn to be back in it’s magnificence.  It was 7.30 so I though I would get a cup of tea and see my friend before she left for work. Well that wasn’t going to happen!

A voice that I recognised as I can only describe as angel vibration mixed with Julianus said , ‘GO BACK TO SLEEP!’

Now, because the spirit world contact us a lot in our dreams I have taken time to study dream phenomena.  Incidentally I have this fab dream analysis site, it is spot on when I look up what my dream means.  When our loved ones and guides can’t reach us in the waking hours they will blend with us during dream state where they can send information without our consciousness interfering and also give us a cuddle! That is why they cope so well as they can be with us whenever they like, but unfortunately for us we can’t, unless we meditate of course..

Here’s a link to the dream site Dream analysis

KATRINA

hurricane-katrian-looters-ap05083005104

 

I have always had intense dreams but I really started to take it seriously when I started to have prophetic dreams.  The one of hundreds that comes to mind was when I dreamt that I was standing on a beach in New Orleans, it was sunny and glorious but then this huge wave washed over me and I was thrashed around until I found myself in this main high street with dead bodies and sharks floating around me.  I looked up and saw a shop sign and it had ‘Katrina’s’ written on it.

A few weeks later hurricane Katrina smashed through New Orleans and when I saw a picture of the high St in New Orleans I was nearly sick. I had seen it coming but who would have listened to me and what could I have changed? I have asked this of Julianus, he said, ‘You are not there to warn, you are there  just listening to the highest vibrations that have shaken through the Universe and of those to come.’

So I now mention it on social media, the dream I have, just to give credit to prophetic dreaming, very frustrating.  I even dream of celebrities, I remember a warning one with Gary Barlow, he was in a bank looking very stressed. I sent him a message on twitter! (Yes I did feel like a nutter!) About a fortnight later he was under investigation for tax evasion. I saw the riots in the UK quite soon before they erupted in our towns and cities, I put it on Facebook and lots of people acknowledged it, which was good.  If it’s to do with a murder though, then I always send what I have to the investigation team, no doubt they chuck it in the bin, but I have done my bit..

I wish we were more like America and psychics were used as help on investigations, as I have had so much information before that came out correct when the perpetrator was eventually caught.

Any way back to my dream, my life changer.

I know that usually we only dream in seconds, but I went back to sleep and awoke 5 hours later on conclusion of the dream.  I was like a woman possessed, it was like returning from oblivion.  The same voice then said, ‘You shall write what you have dreamt’

MY READING

Now I have to take you back a few years, I was getting a reading from a medium called Bill, funnily enough at St Cecilia’s spiritualist church in Rayleigh, Essex. (Remember St Cecilia’s, my home in Rome?)

It was just after I had seen the three men in the window at my first mediumship evening, after I was retired from the police service in 2003.

Bill said to me, ‘You are going to be an important  spiritual teacher and reach thousands of people.  You will also write and this will reach millions.’

I smiled and said thank you, but writing? Nah.  Don’t get me wrong I have always loved creative writing and have always kept a soul journal,  I wrote permanently in my old job, detailed descriptive hundred page statements from rape victims and murder victim families, but books and stuff?  I didn’t think I had it in me.

Recently a consultant from America asked me, ‘What was the inspiration for your book?’  I had to be honest, ‘Erm, a dream? I had no inspiration what so ever!’

WAKING UP

So back to waking up,  still crying from the emotion of the dream, I walked into the lounge and typed the first five chapters then and there.  The words spilled from me like a geyser, exploding out on the white blank document before me.

Even the character names were given to me in a second.  None of it came from my imagination.  I later googled the names out of curiosity.  I was shocked when I saw that the names and descriptions of the characters in the book were the exact people described in the Old Testament, it was surreal.

I was completely obsessed with the story, it was so epic and so unbelievably reflective of our planet that I was humbled as I wrote.  I then learned as I was given more and more information that it was not only going to become a book it was to be a trilogy.  I even started getting visions of the actors that would play the characters! (Gerard Butler, Archangel Michael, lol)

Now and then  the human part of me whispered my concerns and fears, ‘This will never be published, agents will laugh at your effort, one in a million chance, blah blah blah.’ The lion part of the soul, is what Julianus calls it.

But then the spiritual part of me was screaming, ‘This has been channelled from the Heavens, you are their messenger, this is what they want you to tell humankind. To educate them through fiction.’ That was the mouse talking.  More about the mouse and the lion another time!

LIFE PATH CHANGE

My life path from that single dream had been changed in a dramatic way.  I now had something to focus on, something to work on during the lonely hours and a dream of being a published writer of this type of fiction.  I couldn’t reach the masses from the stages any longer, but I possibly could through my words.  I was already doing that through articles in magazines but certainly not on an epic scale such as a trilogy!

It was an epiphany.  It hit me like a bolt of lightening, as I then remembered that reading from St Cecilia’s. ‘You shall write for millions’ this spurred me on and in a few months the first book was finished.

If you have read my other blog entry from ages ago, you will know that I have been provided with an unusual mentor! I was told by Julianus that Elizabeth Bowen was helping me. I googled her, she was a Victorian supernatural fiction writer!

elizabeth

The reason why I have been told to do this in fiction is because Julianus explained that it would reach more people.  It would be a fictional story but laced with angelic and celestial fact throughout the plot.  Genuis!

So the plot involving forbidden love, action, death, evil, love and all things juicy has an important message laced within it.  We need a HUGE wake up call, we have to realise that as a species we are killing ourselves and our planet and things have to change.

As I write this I am getting goose bumps, as the magic of the book seriously transports you.  I furtively asked one of my best friends mum, Lin to read it and critique it.  I knew I would get honesty and harsh critique if I deserved it.

She had read the first few chapters and I approached her like I was facing a headmistress with my homework.

‘Did you like it then Lin?’ I asked holding my breath.

She turned around and burst into tears and was speechless!

I think that’s a yes then! lol.

So now I had to reinvent myself as a creditable writer.  I cannot tell you the times I have re read and re written the first book.

COLUMN

The other thing I had niggling me was how was I going to get it out there, how was I to get an agent?

Back in November last year, the 7th to be precise, I  remembered that most writers with a media presence are always asked by agents if they have a column. Apparently for some reason its important.  Well I had nothing like that.  I had been out of the loop for four years, I was starting to panic.

I sent a silent thought up to Archangel Gabriel and said, ‘You know my concerns, I need some help please if you want your message to get out.‘ It didn’t occur to me that I had sent this SOS up on a very spiritually numbered day, 7 11.

THE ANGELS DELIVER

book-angel

We have heard you

The following morning I woke up in pain but planned to start researching agents to approach.  Then I sighed and had one of those Lion moments,  ‘You have no chance, you are wasting your time and limited energy,’ said the roaring beast.  Then my phone beeped and I sat reading in complete shock what had just been sent to me.

I was asked to be the columnist in Fate and Fortune as the Psychic Detective! How the hell had that happened?  I had not been working for years, but here it was in black and white. Tears of gratitude coursed down my face as I raised my eyes  to the sky and choked  ‘Wow you work fast! Thank you‘ to Archangel Gabriel.  To be asked was an honour and obviously I adore my subject matter, investigating mysteries!

They were helping me, they had heard me, I was going to get this book out, I just knew it.

My Column as The Psychic Detective

My Column as The Psychic Detective

So in your darkest times, especially battling chronic illness, whether you believe in angels or not ask them for help, what’s the worst that can happen?

So back to 2014, as I proceeded along my boot camp schedule, writing frenzied chapters and trying to cope, I realised one day that I had committed to a spiritual retreat in Kent, I sank into a dreaded blackness. How the hell was I going to do it or get out of it?  It had been honoured and sold out for a year, I desperately didn’t want to let the students down, but I was far too ill.

I also met someone that little did I know was going to walk my path as my Earth Angel.

Footnote: I apologise for accidentally sending this out before I had edited it.  As you would have seen, I am writing on a brain fog day, so for me it’s harder than most to write! xx

 


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