Don’t go hating!

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Don’t go hating!

HEARTBREAK AND HURT

Have you ever woken up and the first thing on your mind is the delicious fantasy of the demise of the person who has hurt you?  In fact scrap the first morning thought, every waking second when your mind has nothing else to think about it but that person?  The one you wish still lived in an era where they could be hung, drawn and quartered?

Yes we have all been there.

People hurting us in whatever way draws the soul into a gut wrenching tirade of self loathing for being taken in by that person, absolute heart break, awareness of self vulnerability, uncontrollable grieving, anger and a teeth clinching hatred that that person can still walk around breathing, laughing and moving on.

Head explosive anger!

Head explosive anger!

THOUGHT PATTERNS

When we can in a quiet moment we almost relish in the fact that we can think out the most avenging things for the villain in our story. We should really curl up on the sofa with a bar of chocolate, glass of wine and  a roaring fire to plot our revenge as we put so much effort into it, so why not add some nice accessories during the raging thoughts of destruction and ultimate  hate?

When we are in the rawness of human hurt, we don’t even begin to look outside ourselves to see what is really happening.  We are far too busy thinking out the next witty sarcastic remark to add to their Facebook page! As we cry our hearts out, eating Ben and Jerry’s listening to ‘All by myself’ (yes I stole that from Bridget Jones!) are we really doing ourselves a justice?

In a way yes, we all have to grieve what has been done to us.  If the grief is too overwhelming then perhaps we need outside help.  Either through psychotherapy or counselling.

But let us just for one minute think about the words that surround this hateful time .  Words that we have surrounded ourselves in, that our soul is absorbing and what we are stating to the Universe.

Hate, anger, sadness, loathing, agony, pain, heartache, vitriol, bitterness, jealousy, injustice, unfairness, humiliation, vulnerability, rage, frustration, angst, stress, anxiety, sickness, depression.  I could go on and on.

If I was playing a word game and had to guess the link between all of these words here I would say ‘hell’.

Yes a living hell.  So why bathe in hell?  Why put ourselves through more physical and mental pain by hanging onto it all?

“BECAUSE THEY DID THIS TO ME!”

Yes fair point, but why do we then keep ourselves in their energy for the foreseeable future?  It’s a done deed.  Why do we dwell in the darkened chasms of their ill will or bad behaviour for as long as we do?

Ask yourself, why?

You have two choices.  Live in their wake for as long as you choose to or look at this situation, honour it, feel it, then move on and let the Laws of the Universe do the rest.

“Yeah right Karma, as if that works!”

Karma isn’t revenge.  Karma is the natural consequence of your thoughts and actions.

If they live in a dishonest, selfish and hateful existence how can they surely escape their own actions?

The simple answer is they can’t.

So if you stay in their energy hating them and loathing them you are placing yourself in their boat, in their filthy pond attracting the other scum in other boats in the same pond.

What if you got off of the boat, waded to shore and dipped into the neighbouring cool fresh ocean filled with freedom, encountering new boats that are enjoying the crystalline waters of tranquillity and happiness?

Its stubborn pride that keeps us in that limited dark dank pond.

 

Get off that boat!

Get off that boat!

It is a fact that our thought patterns lead to an emotion that then leads to behaviour.  If we don’t catch it and kill it (Yes stole that from Bear Grylls!) then we remain in a never ending circle of negative feelings and emotions.  We have been through enough, so why put ourselves through any more pain.  YOU are the captain of your ship, so it’s up to you to decide if you want to stay in the shark infested pond or sail into the horizon in your newly found sparkling ocean.

GET THE ITINERARY FOR YOUR MAIDEN VOYAGE

There is nothing I loathe more than people who give you advice or you read about  people who give you facts and haven’t been through it themselves.  That’s why I always write on subjects that I have experienced and what I have done on a mindful and spiritual path to lose the pain.

I recently got exceptionally hurt by someone and felt mortified that I had been exposed to it (I write about it in my next column Diary of a Psychic!).  I nearly went down the same route I always do.  The road aptly named ‘Self Pity’ leading to the junction of ‘hate’ ending at the ‘revenge’ motorway.

Yes I spurted out some pretty hateful words on the first couple of days and was spitting flames, but then I checked myself and started to look at ways to move on from this madness.  By me continually raging, I was still on day one of the hurt and not moving anywhere fast!

So the first thing I did was call upon Archangel Raguel. He deals with all relationship battles and hardships in your life and will not stop until your harmony is restored.  He can also assists in legal battles and finding justice.

Archangel of justice, harmony, balance and vengeance

Archangel of justice, harmony, balance and vengeance

It does not matter if you do not believe in angels.  What have you got to lose?  They will answer whether you believe in them or not.

You have to invoke angels, they need permission to enter your lives.

It’s very simple to invoke them.  I just said,  “Archangel Raguel I give you permission to come into my life and deal with this situation as you see fit and take the pain of this away from me.” There, done.

Archangel Raguel works on a pale blue light ray, so when you ask him to come and help imagine a big pale blue ball of light as you ask.

Trust me it works.

I then made sure I did something EVERY DAY that was for me and my indulgence. Basically a ‘self love’ exercise.

I am somewhat limited to movement so did self healing in meditation,  but for the sprightly person I would always recommend healing.  Either at a local spiritualist centre or a local recommended Reiki practitioner.

My friend Ian’s website thespiritguides.co.uk holds the best comprehensive directory of healing services near you.

The next thing is to get all of your thoughts and emotions out.  For the more physical people, go run and scream out somewhere isolated.  Scream to the top of your lungs until you can’t scream any more. Go punch something (Preferably a punch bag, not the villain in this piece!) go and play sport.  exhaust yourself of the emotion burdening you.

If you prefer a more cadenced approach write out your feelings in a journal (my students know I love a journal!)  keep writing until you get bored of writing about the same thing.  I also ask a family member in spirit within the words to also help me out.  This means that you have exhausted all of the negative thought patterns in your mind and soul through your writing.  It is very cathartic and it will surprise you how much you end up writing.

Whether you are in a field like a crazed lunatic or writing your woes out in a journal also state your INTENT.  Where you want to be in six months time.  The Universe needs to understand the problem, how you want to move from it and what you want at the end of it. (Don’t say ‘agony for that rat!’  It’s all about you remember!).

CRYSTALS

Sunstone is the ultimate crystal for this situation.

Self empowerment stone

Self empowerment stone

Sun stone gives you self empowerment, vitality and cleanses you from the negative actions of other people.  It is also excellent for strength and courage say in an interview (or court hearings if you are divorcing them!)  Have it as jewellery, in your pocket, or ladies in your bra, that’s where I keep mine.  Don’t forget to charge them  I will be doing a blog on crystal care another time.

If the villain is still in your life, i.e a difficult boss, awful neighbour or negative colleague then get yourself a Laboradite.  This is the best protection from other peoples intentions that you can get.  It mirrors their energy and protects your auric field at the same time.  Plus it is absolutely lush to look at.  When I know I need it, I wear it as a pendant and smile inside knowing that every intention coming out of that fickle person is being reflected right back into their soul! Love it!

full on protection

full on protection

Again you may not even have faith in crystals but they do work.  They resonate with our meridians to create an energy that works in it’s own unique way.

There are many crystals that can help but these two have appeared in my mind for this input so I will go with it.

After you have dealt with this situation and person for a while, the next natural step is to move on.  This is where the daddy of the Archangels needs to rock up, sweep you off of you feet, cut any ties that bind you to that person and sail you off into the sunset not giving them a second thought!

Cut those ties that bind you

Cut those ties that bind you

ARCHANGEL MICHAEL

He works on a royal blue ray of colour.  Do the same, ask him to come to your aid to give you the strength to move on and live your life to the full.  Usually you will get a sign that the angels have heard within a couple of days after the invocation.  It could be a white feather apported in an unusual place, an angel symbol in an unusual place or any personal synchronicity that makes you think, “Wow, that’s my sign to say I have been heard!”  Don’t forget to look out for angel numerology.  Any numbers of three or the number three in them.

I know it hurts.  I know it is exceptionally hard, but there is one more thing you must do to break the energy connection between you and the baddie.!  You are going to resent this and it will sting but it is the only thing that works.

Love over hate is a stronger more tangible energy.  It empowers you and sends a beacon of light out into the Universe that you now embrace and attract love.

You must send love to the baddie.

Yes I know, impossible right?

I send pink hearts to them and then move on with my day.  It takes a lot to get to this stage but when you do do it, it feels empowering.

By doing this, you are streets above their pathetic behaviour.  You are moving on loving and valuing yourself and your self worth.

Leave them in their pond and to their own karma.

It works if you work it.  It’s up to you.

Crystalline turquoise waters, or a dark dank pond?

Send that love.  The Universe will love you for it xx

All you need is love

All you need is love

Good luck, own that Love!

Until next time

Nicky xx

 

 

 

 


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ME Myself and I. My Soul Diaries 6

YOU ARE TO WRITE WHAT YOU HAVE DREAMT

The Sunday after my bumble bee episode, I accumulated another tool to add to my spiritual itinerary. It seemed that in the last week the heavens were initiating everything they could to get me back in a positive mind space and strength to fight.

YOU CAN HEAL YOUR LIFE

My friend randomly said, ‘I don’t know why, but you need to watch this.

Now I had read the book and worked on the exercises contained within it.  This book is priceless, if you find yourself in the wilderness, lost and desperate get this book or watch the DVD.  This book gives you the compass, map and route to find your way home.  When I watched the video, I cried through most of it listening to the individual stories of people’s struggles and triumphs.  It gave me another kick up the backside in wanting to get back on track mentally and spiritually.

YOU CAN HEAL YOUR LIFE by LOUISE HAY is a ‘must have’ to adorn your book shelf. It is like my personal bible.

There are such beautiful illustrations in the book and the affirmations and guidance in finding a happier, more contented you, are simply priceless.  I recommend getting the book rather than downloading it as the visual quality of each page can’t be missed!

You can heal your life by Louise Hay

This is the best copy for illustration

This is the best copy for illustration

So now I was ‘working it’ thinking about my life, changing all the negativity into positivity.  Even when the pain became unbearable I would imagine me walking through the Crystal Palace trying to distance myself from my mutinous body.  But believe me it was very difficult in the early days. I had a night just after that Sunday where my reality hit and I felt desolate yet again.

Sometimes in the dark hours your mind works overtime and mine was working like a jet fuelled engine. I cried out and said to whoever wanted to listen ‘I get it, but why? You need to deliver something as I am not going to survive with only stupid little signs, HELP ME!’ I was sobbing like a baby, I just wanted a lifeline, a reason for being.

THE DREAM

Now I know I have already put this story of my dream in a different blog but it is SO incredible I will mention it again.

The following morning after shouting the odds to up above I was awoken by my friend banging my door with the hoover.  I was so frustrated as I was in the middle of the most magnificent dream.  There were tears flooding down my face and my heart was beating out of my chest, I was literally breathless.  The dream was euphoric, the colours, feelings and visions held such a vibrancy I could do nothing but yearn to be back in it’s magnificence.  It was 7.30 so I though I would get a cup of tea and see my friend before she left for work. Well that wasn’t going to happen!

A voice that I recognised as I can only describe as angel vibration mixed with Julianus said , ‘GO BACK TO SLEEP!’

Now, because the spirit world contact us a lot in our dreams I have taken time to study dream phenomena.  Incidentally I have this fab dream analysis site, it is spot on when I look up what my dream means.  When our loved ones and guides can’t reach us in the waking hours they will blend with us during dream state where they can send information without our consciousness interfering and also give us a cuddle! That is why they cope so well as they can be with us whenever they like, but unfortunately for us we can’t, unless we meditate of course..

Here’s a link to the dream site Dream analysis

KATRINA

hurricane-katrian-looters-ap05083005104

 

I have always had intense dreams but I really started to take it seriously when I started to have prophetic dreams.  The one of hundreds that comes to mind was when I dreamt that I was standing on a beach in New Orleans, it was sunny and glorious but then this huge wave washed over me and I was thrashed around until I found myself in this main high street with dead bodies and sharks floating around me.  I looked up and saw a shop sign and it had ‘Katrina’s’ written on it.

A few weeks later hurricane Katrina smashed through New Orleans and when I saw a picture of the high St in New Orleans I was nearly sick. I had seen it coming but who would have listened to me and what could I have changed? I have asked this of Julianus, he said, ‘You are not there to warn, you are there  just listening to the highest vibrations that have shaken through the Universe and of those to come.’

So I now mention it on social media, the dream I have, just to give credit to prophetic dreaming, very frustrating.  I even dream of celebrities, I remember a warning one with Gary Barlow, he was in a bank looking very stressed. I sent him a message on twitter! (Yes I did feel like a nutter!) About a fortnight later he was under investigation for tax evasion. I saw the riots in the UK quite soon before they erupted in our towns and cities, I put it on Facebook and lots of people acknowledged it, which was good.  If it’s to do with a murder though, then I always send what I have to the investigation team, no doubt they chuck it in the bin, but I have done my bit..

I wish we were more like America and psychics were used as help on investigations, as I have had so much information before that came out correct when the perpetrator was eventually caught.

Any way back to my dream, my life changer.

I know that usually we only dream in seconds, but I went back to sleep and awoke 5 hours later on conclusion of the dream.  I was like a woman possessed, it was like returning from oblivion.  The same voice then said, ‘You shall write what you have dreamt’

MY READING

Now I have to take you back a few years, I was getting a reading from a medium called Bill, funnily enough at St Cecilia’s spiritualist church in Rayleigh, Essex. (Remember St Cecilia’s, my home in Rome?)

It was just after I had seen the three men in the window at my first mediumship evening, after I was retired from the police service in 2003.

Bill said to me, ‘You are going to be an important  spiritual teacher and reach thousands of people.  You will also write and this will reach millions.’

I smiled and said thank you, but writing? Nah.  Don’t get me wrong I have always loved creative writing and have always kept a soul journal,  I wrote permanently in my old job, detailed descriptive hundred page statements from rape victims and murder victim families, but books and stuff?  I didn’t think I had it in me.

Recently a consultant from America asked me, ‘What was the inspiration for your book?’  I had to be honest, ‘Erm, a dream? I had no inspiration what so ever!’

WAKING UP

So back to waking up,  still crying from the emotion of the dream, I walked into the lounge and typed the first five chapters then and there.  The words spilled from me like a geyser, exploding out on the white blank document before me.

Even the character names were given to me in a second.  None of it came from my imagination.  I later googled the names out of curiosity.  I was shocked when I saw that the names and descriptions of the characters in the book were the exact people described in the Old Testament, it was surreal.

I was completely obsessed with the story, it was so epic and so unbelievably reflective of our planet that I was humbled as I wrote.  I then learned as I was given more and more information that it was not only going to become a book it was to be a trilogy.  I even started getting visions of the actors that would play the characters! (Gerard Butler, Archangel Michael, lol)

Now and then  the human part of me whispered my concerns and fears, ‘This will never be published, agents will laugh at your effort, one in a million chance, blah blah blah.’ The lion part of the soul, is what Julianus calls it.

But then the spiritual part of me was screaming, ‘This has been channelled from the Heavens, you are their messenger, this is what they want you to tell humankind. To educate them through fiction.’ That was the mouse talking.  More about the mouse and the lion another time!

LIFE PATH CHANGE

My life path from that single dream had been changed in a dramatic way.  I now had something to focus on, something to work on during the lonely hours and a dream of being a published writer of this type of fiction.  I couldn’t reach the masses from the stages any longer, but I possibly could through my words.  I was already doing that through articles in magazines but certainly not on an epic scale such as a trilogy!

It was an epiphany.  It hit me like a bolt of lightening, as I then remembered that reading from St Cecilia’s. ‘You shall write for millions’ this spurred me on and in a few months the first book was finished.

If you have read my other blog entry from ages ago, you will know that I have been provided with an unusual mentor! I was told by Julianus that Elizabeth Bowen was helping me. I googled her, she was a Victorian supernatural fiction writer!

elizabeth

The reason why I have been told to do this in fiction is because Julianus explained that it would reach more people.  It would be a fictional story but laced with angelic and celestial fact throughout the plot.  Genuis!

So the plot involving forbidden love, action, death, evil, love and all things juicy has an important message laced within it.  We need a HUGE wake up call, we have to realise that as a species we are killing ourselves and our planet and things have to change.

As I write this I am getting goose bumps, as the magic of the book seriously transports you.  I furtively asked one of my best friends mum, Lin to read it and critique it.  I knew I would get honesty and harsh critique if I deserved it.

She had read the first few chapters and I approached her like I was facing a headmistress with my homework.

‘Did you like it then Lin?’ I asked holding my breath.

She turned around and burst into tears and was speechless!

I think that’s a yes then! lol.

So now I had to reinvent myself as a creditable writer.  I cannot tell you the times I have re read and re written the first book.

COLUMN

The other thing I had niggling me was how was I going to get it out there, how was I to get an agent?

Back in November last year, the 7th to be precise, I  remembered that most writers with a media presence are always asked by agents if they have a column. Apparently for some reason its important.  Well I had nothing like that.  I had been out of the loop for four years, I was starting to panic.

I sent a silent thought up to Archangel Gabriel and said, ‘You know my concerns, I need some help please if you want your message to get out.‘ It didn’t occur to me that I had sent this SOS up on a very spiritually numbered day, 7 11.

THE ANGELS DELIVER

book-angel

We have heard you

The following morning I woke up in pain but planned to start researching agents to approach.  Then I sighed and had one of those Lion moments,  ‘You have no chance, you are wasting your time and limited energy,’ said the roaring beast.  Then my phone beeped and I sat reading in complete shock what had just been sent to me.

I was asked to be the columnist in Fate and Fortune as the Psychic Detective! How the hell had that happened?  I had not been working for years, but here it was in black and white. Tears of gratitude coursed down my face as I raised my eyes  to the sky and choked  ‘Wow you work fast! Thank you‘ to Archangel Gabriel.  To be asked was an honour and obviously I adore my subject matter, investigating mysteries!

They were helping me, they had heard me, I was going to get this book out, I just knew it.

My Column as The Psychic Detective

My Column as The Psychic Detective

So in your darkest times, especially battling chronic illness, whether you believe in angels or not ask them for help, what’s the worst that can happen?

So back to 2014, as I proceeded along my boot camp schedule, writing frenzied chapters and trying to cope, I realised one day that I had committed to a spiritual retreat in Kent, I sank into a dreaded blackness. How the hell was I going to do it or get out of it?  It had been honoured and sold out for a year, I desperately didn’t want to let the students down, but I was far too ill.

I also met someone that little did I know was going to walk my path as my Earth Angel.

Footnote: I apologise for accidentally sending this out before I had edited it.  As you would have seen, I am writing on a brain fog day, so for me it’s harder than most to write! xx

 


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