THE POWER OF ANIMAL TOTEMS

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THE POWER OF ANIMAL TOTEMS

Hi all,

CHANGE OF PACE

As you most probably saw on Facebook, I have decided to put my soul diaries in book format  as so many of you have emailed and messaged me with this idea.  So I have taken it on board and then realised if I carried on blogging about it there would be spoilers to the book! Lol.

So I had a little meditation on the subject and I was told to just address spiritual matter that would assist you in your daily lives.

I would also love to answer any questions you may have through the comments section on this page.  But remember you have to subscribe first!

So ask away! I am all yours!

Here to help!

Here to help!

BABY TOAD

I was wondering what to start this new blog on and within a few seconds I noticed something in the corner of my eye.  Right by my bedroom door was this little fellow.  He sat there for about 40 minutes.  When I asked, “Are you an animal totem?” He hopped off!

My lil animal totem

My lil animal totem

So I took it as a yes!  He was also sitting next to a feather, all be it not a white fluffy one that angels bring, but still a cute little feather!

Now the strangest thing is, before I noticed him, I was not only thinking on my blog I was having a bit of a crisis.

For those of you that know me and have been reading my blog I am suffering chronic illness .  The only way for me to focus on goals and still help human kind at the moment is through my writing.

I can get upset sometimes that I can not currently tour and visit people in person so writing to me is so very important. Plus I can do it in my pj’s!

BRAIN EXPLOSION!

I have been getting the expected ‘no’s from agents for my paranormal fiction book EARTH WALKERS and was feeling a little jaded and my self confidence took a little tumble down self esteem lane! I have only queried it 15 times so I really need to be patient!  But, I am the sort of person that then jumps about looking for another solution.  So I have decided to write non fiction books aswell using my vast esoteric knowledge.

So…… when I am thinking, should I carry on with fiction? Should I concentrate more on non fiction?  Do people care what I write about? Am I wasting my time? Shall I just stay in bed and forget the whole thing?  My guides must have thought, “Oh God she is having yet  another brain explosion, best send her a sign!”  (Feel so sorry for them, I wonder if they have Valium up there?)

Yep, hair pulling time!

Yep, hair pulling time!

 

So they then send a  baby toad!  Don’t ask me how they do it!  You may as well ask me one on rocket science!  I  have witnessed over the years so many times weird behaviour and oddly timed creatures in my path right at the magic time that I need them.

So after my little crisis and watching my warty little visitor I google ‘Toad animal totem’

Wow here was the answer:

If a toad totem has recently entered your life, consider the following points:

Are you going through an important transition in your life? Toad spirit symbolizes transitional phases of one’s life because of their own unique growing phases: the egg, the tadpole, and finally, the toad. Maybe you’re going through a big life change, in spirit or in reality, and frog totem has entered your life to remind you that change is a natural and positive part of life.

CHANGING FROM A WORKING PSYCHIC MEDIUM TO A WORKING PSYCHIC WRITER HAS DAUNTED ME SO MUCH SO THIS IS SPOT ON.  I AM ALSO BEING SHOWN MUCH DEEPER PHILOSOPHY AND UNIVERSAL UNDERSTANDING.

Are you bogged down or bored with your day to day activities? If you’ve gotten too comfortable in your day to day life, frog spirit may be here to remind you to clear out your “muddy waters” and rejuvenate your spirit by doing things that bring you passion

TOTALLY TRUE I AM BED BOUND MOST DAYS WHICH CAN SOMETIMES LEAD TO NEGATIVITY IF I LET IT. WRITING DOES REJUVENATE ME ALONG WITH THE PRISM COURSES AND MEDITATION I DO.  SO THIS IS OBVIOUSLY SAYING KEEP ON GOING!

Are you having trouble committing yourself to one single goal?  HAHA! A BIG FAT GLOOPY RESOUNDING  YES!

Frogs and toads alike enjoy leaping from place to place, and if you feel particularly drawn to one of these amphibians, you may tend to be a totem person that leaps from one thing to another as well. You might need to take some time to decide what your goals are and assess if you are taking the proper steps to get there.

QUESTION ANSWERED.  SIT BACK, TAKE STOCK AND DO ONE THING AT A TIME!

See? That’s how it works.  You have most probably worked out that I am not an airy fairy psychic.  I am grounded, I am an open minded sceptic and do question everything.  So I don’t think every time I see an animal in my garden it is a totem.    But when you whisper to a toad when it has sat there for 40 minutes “Are you an animal totem?” and within seconds it hops off, that’s pretty weirdy!

I have had it happen so many times with dragonflies, robins, birds, butterflies and deer to name but a few.  Robins and butterflies are by far the most common though.  They are very popular with your loved ones for sending a message to you to say that they are OK.  This will also occur at special times, i.e anniversaries, relevant dates or if you have asked for a sign.

PROPHECY

I even had a prophetic totem visitation.  My ex brother in law came through and told me at his funeral he would send the butterfly indoors as a sign from him.

At the wake I was sitting in the lounge and a butterfly came in through the conservatory and landed on my shoulder and sat there!

ACTING UNNATURALLY?

So if you are looking at a creature that is acting weird or turns up at a certain time every day or is perhaps a loved ones favourite pet that keeps rocking up in your garden (Not the actual one of course!), take note!

You may also be dreaming of the same animal regularly or seeing one in a meditation.  However they wish to be brought to you take note of this old ancient Native American Phenomena and google that animal!

We are continually being brought signs and synchronicity from our loved ones, guides, guardian angels and Archangels, but we choose to ignore them, doubt them or plain old poo poo them!

Poor loves! It must be like playing Give us a Clue or Catchphrase under an invisibility cloak!

Hello? Can you see me?

Hello? Can you see me?

I get so many emails and messages from people that need help and can’t seem to see a way forward.  If we just stop, open our hearts, eyes and ears and live in the present with a bit more calm then we will begin to notice and pick up on the fact that we are being guided more than we realise.

So look out for the animals!

Look forward to any questions you have, have a good week xxxxx


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PRISM LIVING – SPIRITUAL DEVELOPMENT AND EMPOWERMENT COURSE

Hi all,

I am pleased to announce that my online course is now LIVE!

All you have to do is visit the SHOP page on my website at nickyalan.co.uk add the course to your cart and pay through Paypal.  Once payment has been received you will receive session one of the course. or click the link below
BOOK USING THE LINK BELOW AND FOLLOW THE PROMPTS

You will then be sent each session every seven days.

I truly hope that you benefit as I did using the tools and working yourself to a happier and more content way of life.

Remember I am here if you have any questions or problems.

Good luck!  Go for it!

Namaste

Nicky xxx


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ME Myself and I. My Soul Diaries 10

 

FOCUS, HEAL, FIGHT AND WRITE

So I thought that I had done well getting through the abuse nightmares, but obviously not.  Another exceptionally scary part of ME/ Fibro are the severe mood swings.  You have absolutely NO control over your emotions whatsoever.  For instance, yesterday I actually managed to get out and get myself dressed, all be it very slowly!  I sat by the most breath taking view of the river Parrett, looking out to contented cows munching on their delicious banquet of emerald green velvet, birdsong creating the most tantalising orchestra and countryside views that were simply stunning. I listened to the odd aquatic plop of a jumping Chub in the ever flowing river, feeling serene.

Anyone would have felt at peace and completely at one

EMBRACE IT, OWN IT, NURTURE IT AND FIGHT IT

EMBRACE IT, OWN IT, NURTURE IT AND FIGHT IT

with nature in this place.  It is hard to understand from someone who doesn’t suffer from this condition, but even though part of me was adoring just sitting still taking in the environment, there was a dark melodic song miserably wailing somewhere within, alerting me to the fact that sadness and anxiety were happily swimming through my consciousness just like the fish in the river.  You don’t feel depressed, you don’t have any reason to feel sad but your brain just decides that is what it is going to do for the day.

DOCTOR VISIT

So going back to January 2015, I was experiencing the most volatile mood swings I could have ever imagined.  The anxiety attacks were frightening and constant and to add to it I had a seriously ugly red blotched rash covering my hands and arms.  They looked like sores, they were disgusting.  So in the end I decided to make an appointment with my GP as the receptionist said the GP was too busy to come out to me and was it an emergency.  My friend was supposed to take me but she was kept at work.  I couldn’t afford a taxi so I decided rather stupidly to drive the two miles to the surgery in Brixham.  I wished that I hadn’t even bothered.

I walked into the room and straight away I burst into tears.  I couldn’t stop myself from wailing out every fear and worry.  I explained about the debt people hounding me every day, the anxiety attacks, the fact that I thought I should be put in a psych ward as I couldn’t cope with the mood swings and about my non existent life coping with the pain and exhaustion.

This was the following conversation.  As an ex police officer, I was so enraged I made original notes straight after!! lol

Dr sighs: Well I can give you some cream for the rash, but I have to say, you need to get a grip.

me: What do you mean?

Dr: Well it’s not as if you are disabled or anything, it’s not as if you have a broken limb

me: It’s not as if I’m disabled! (I repeat sarcastically)

Dr: Well no you managed to drive here, you are dressed and can carry that bag.

Me: I have my pyjama top on and a pair of jogging bottoms with no underwear, the bag is empty to carry my prescription and I had no choice but to drive.  It took me two hours to get out of my bed to the car and I will now no doubt be in bed for days because of the effort it took to get here!

Dr: Well that’s just it, straight away you are putting yourself in a negative thought pattern by saying you will end up in bed

Me: (raising my voice) Well that’s because it’s fact, I have been going through this for three years!

Dr: Why didn’t you get a taxi if you are so ill?

Me: Because I couldn’t afford it. Have you been listening?  Banks and debt collectors are calling and sending threatening letters every day.  Sometimes I can’t even buy food as I am paying all the debt off!

Dr: Well why don’t you go back to work?

Me: Why don’t I go back to work, are you serious?

Dr: As I said it’s not as if you are disabled

Me: Of course I am! I can’t look after myself I lay in bed month after month laying in my own urine, eating shit and rotting away like a ninety year old! (Shouting at this point)

Dr: I am not arguing with you Nichola, don’t use that language with me

Me (crying my eyes out) I can’t believe this, I can’t believe my Dr is saying this to me

Dr: Well as I said I am not arguing with you, you need to start getting dressed every day and forcing yourself to get out

Me: Just give me my cream

I then tried my best to march out of the door, but wasn’t very effective at a snail pace hobble!

What a wonderful supportive doctor, stupid cow!  It is the GP’s like this who make our lives a misery.  What is it about this condition that there is such a lack of knowledge and understanding with some GP’s?  I was hurt, exceptionally upset and my brain started to tell me that I was making it all up and a hypochondriac. If my GP wasn’t backing me up then who would? I stood crying as I got my cream at the pharmacy.  The pharmacist asked if I was ok, I just said, ‘I’m upset because my GP is disgusting!‘  Haha, what a thing to say.

So ladies and gents, my advice here is OWN IT!  Do not allow your GP to judge you or dismiss your illness due to their ignorance, whatever your illness is.  Complain about them if you are not happy.  ME and Fibro are the most misunderstood and disregarded conditions in this country.  I am so amazed by the lack of support and understanding. Speak out, we need to be heard!  Now, I would have given her what for, but I was so emotionally and mentally weak back then.  I just limped out of the surgery feeling even worse than I had before I went in.  I let her words haunt me, so the following day I forced myself to walk around the cemetery, obviously this lead to more pain and exhaustion, so promptly stopped after day two!

Own it!

Own it!

The cream did absolutely nothing to remove the blotches, I assumed they were another part of the illness, so just allowed them to spread and stopped using the cream.  I started using Lavendar and wheatgerm oil instead, smelled nice, but did nothing at all, at least it stopped the soreness!  The rash disappeared about six months after as if it have never been there, but left some nasty scars. Weird one!

SPIRALLING DOWN

From that day I was on a roller coaster of emotion, it was torturous.  One minute I was smiling listening to the birds, the next I was raging and wanted to kill the stupid cow who had smashed into me and caused all of this.  I spoke to no one.  Who wanted to hear my rantings?

But something weird happened, that jolted me into making efforts to snap out of the spiralling.

It was in the early hours of 23 Jan 2015.  I was looking after my friends dog Zeus (bless you Zeus, hope you are enjoying the rainbow bridge x) He was a very placid dog and very quiet.  But he woke me up by suddenly growling and barking.

I looked at the clock and it was 3.33.  I couldn’t understand what he was barking at, he stood at my bedroom door barking at an invisible space on the landing.  I was terrified as I thought there may be a burglar.  Then there was the most almighty crash.  It sounded like my front door had been kicked in.  My two little dogs then woke up and started barking as well.  It was complete chaos.  I grabbed the phone and started to dial 999 as I was convinced I was getting broken into.  Visions of being faced with an intruder started to flash through my mind.  My whole body started shaking as I looked around for a weapon. My ears were straining to hear where the intruders were in the house.

DREAM OR CELESTIAL?

But then as if I had dreamt it, Zeus sat down and stopped barking.  My two babies, stopped aswell and laid down promptly going back to sleep.  My heart was pounding, it was like there was a huge drum banging through my ears.  I was breathing frantically and still straining to hear for sound.  Zeus, then literally fell asleep, snoring his head off!

I listened for a little longer, finger hovering over the last 9 on my phone.  But there was nothing, complete silence.

Don't go down there!

Don’t go down there!

Now, you know when you watch a scary film and the victim walks into the darkness and you wait for the high violin stringed music to signal their impending death?  Yeah well that was me.  You would ordinarily scream, ‘Don’t go down there!’ But I put the phone in my pocket and shaking like a nutter, holding a back scratcher (Come on!  I could find no other weapon!) I furtively walked onto the landing stepping over the snoring Rotweiler, that should have been alert and guarding my back!  I stood on that landing for an eternity, sweat was running down my back as I was in my mind waiting for the violin music! Haha.  My back started to scream out in pain, so it was either return to my bed or hobble down the stairs.  I bravely or stupidly chose the latter.  I walked around the dark house and found nothing to explain the huge smash.  Everything was in order.  Nothing was out of place.  As I sat on the settee looking out to the cemetery it hit me like a thunderbolt.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY

It was the 23 January, exactly THREE years to the day that I had had my road accident. I then remembered the time this incident had started 3.33.  I then tingled from head to toe.  I had been given a sign.  They were still with me, I was convinced.  They were making their presence known.  They were bringing to my attention that I wasn’t going through this hell alone.  I WASN’T ALONE!

I smiled as I looked out onto all of the silvery graves animated by the clouds flurrying before the moon.  It looked as if the shadows were dancing, celebrating, living.

I need to carry on fighting‘  I said out loud.

‘I need to dance and celebrate in my mind even if I can’t do it physically

A new resolve started to snake through me.  This bitch wasn’t going to beat me.

I then laughed as I put a vision in my mind of Sigourney Weaver in Aliens.

sigourney-weaver-kissing-an-alien-27502-1287837059-6GET AWAY FROM HER YOU BITCH!’ Yes get away from me, you filthy condition.  I heaved a huge sigh, said thank you to the angels, but they must have felt my niggling doubt that the smash and the time of the incident was a coincidence, because, like the alien, they kept on coming.

 

ANGELS

Every night from that night on, call it coincidence or not I was woken at 3.33.  I, as an open minded sceptic just assumed it was a natural occurrence, my brain registering that time every night to wake up.  Up above must have heard my mutinous thoughts!

Always 3.33 on my clock. But this won't load the proper way up? Weirdy!

Always 3.33 on my clock. But this won’t load the proper way up? Weirdy!

On Fri 13 Feb, I woke up to go to the toilet.  As I was in the bathroom, I heard voices and thought, ‘What now?’ I went upstairs and the television had turned itself on.  The remote was on the distant bed side cabinet. So I hadn’t leaned on it by accident or anything. I noted the time as 3.36 so I must have woken again at 3.33.  Amazingly the channel number was 369 and had stayed displayed on the screen in the top left hand corner, which ordinarily it doesn’t.  It was the Vintage Channel which I don’t really watch and certainly was not watching the previous evening.

369, Angel numbers.  I then heard a voice say Raguel.

My wing man

My wing man

Now I had never heard of this name before, so of course, I googled it:

To my absolute delight, it was a name of an Archangel.  I smiled as I read what he was responsible for.

Archangel Raguel working on the light blue ray is the Archangel of justice, harmony, peace, miracles and love.  He brings end to injustice, people and relationships from the past.

So was he here to balance the karma? Was that why I had had the dreams about my past abuse?  Was he here to heal me of my past hurts and friends who had turned their backs on me?  Was I going to get compensation for my life altering injury? Would I ever get a home again? Would the debt be dealt with? I looked around my bedroom, everything I had in there was pale blue and teal, colours I never usually was attracted to.  I had surrounded myself with his colour without even realising it.  I spoke out loud, ‘Archangel Raphael, I give you permission to enter my life and my soul and help me to heal from the injustice and hurt that has been brought upon me, I thank you for coming to me.’  That’s all you need to say really, when you invoke an angel.

MESSAGE RECEIVED AND UNDERSTOOD. OVER.

I then excitedly googled 369:

Angel number 369 is a message from your angels to continue forth upon your life purpose and soul mission, safe in the knowledge that your material wants and needs will be met as needed.  Your lightworking duties to serve and help humanity are important and you are being encouraged to put extra focus on your spiritual path and purpose.  Devote yourself to your soul mission without delay.

Your positive affirmations about your spiritual path and purpose have been heard and you are being responded to by the angels and those in higher realms.  Listen to your intuition and take action as guided.

Give any fears of monetary issues to the angels and get on with pursuing your purpose.  The angels, archangels and ascended masters fully support you and will ensure that your material wants and needs are met as you carry on your lightwork.

Research, study, schooling, education and learning will enhance and help your life purpose, personal growth and development at this time.  The angels will guide and help your need to learn and grow.

I then remembered with shocking clarity the angel necklace that I had found in a packing box the day before.

It was blue satin, with a light blue angel pendant on it.  I never remembered buying it or receiving it as a gift and as I touched it around my neck, I realised that it was the colour of Archangel Raguel. I then had a clear abrupt vision of my book.  The front cover was a picture of the Earth and human shadows in front of the Earth that depicted the Earth Walkers.

My destiny was to write and learn a new trade, I realised that now.  Write the direct word channeled from The Omnipresence and the angel realms.  My goal was clear.

After that magical night, a shift had taken place.  I let the phone ring on and on as I recognised the debt collectors numbers, smiling knowing that when the time was right, I would take them on and the banks with strength.  I just knew that it would be dealt with when it needed to be. It no longer haunted me. Justice would be done, I would be helped out materially, so all I had to do was focus, heal, fight and write.  I knew without any reservation that I was definitely being carried in the love and safety of the angel realms.

That night I slept like a baby.  They had finally reached me and had stopped the fear that had been eating away at my insides daily.  They were patient, but insistent and finally after all of their efforts, I was getting the message.

I felt truly blessed x

 

 


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ME Myself and I. My Soul Diaries no 7

EARTH ANGELS

Hi everyone,

I have been asked to write a blog for a Canadian group so I am pleased that I am reaching people and so humbled to have been asked!  This is my only way to reach you, so I truly hope that you enjoy my posts. Please share it with your family and friends 🙂

My next obstacles in my life that were making me stress every day were the work commitments that I felt too weak to cancel, I was too scared to face the back lash.  I was so worried about upsetting people.   With this condition your ability to cope with the most smallest problems is non existent.  I can only describe it as a blank spot.  As soon as anything gets too much you get an adrenaline rush and you just want to fly not fight and your mind goes completely numb, like a flatline.  Bearing in mind I used to be a strong minded police officer who could cope with any dramatic situation, this particular part of the illness was as if an alien had deposited itself in my brain and had sucked dry my coping mechanism.  I couldn’t even cope with answering the phone or opening a letter.

Coping with emotion is non existent

Coping with emotion is non existent

I had a weekend retreat booked and evenings of mediumship in Grays and Dartford.  They were both sold out, I couldn’t let the audience down or the centres.  How the hell was I going to carry this out when I couldn’t even last a day without sleeping? I couldn’t think straight and was in massive pain despite the Morphine, Tramadol, Codeine and god knows what other opiates the doctors were shoving down my throat.  I was drinking cans of red bull to keep me up, countless cans. My new alien brain had also changed my tastes, I could no longer stand tea and craved sweet things and coffee BIG TIME.

NIGHTMARES

I started to get nightmares all of the time, of standing in front of audiences and them booing me. It was horror every time I went to sleep.  Stress then causes other symptoms so I ended up with urinary problems, gynae problems, incontinence, skull shattering headaches, severe depression and extreme pain that made you want to die just to end the suffering.

I was desperate to hold on to my magical dream of the book, but in the darkest times, it was a distant unrealistic dream.

I ended up in hospital which was brutal as I attended alone and felt so desolate and unloved.

I saw family members kissing their loved ones and visiting and it just made me feel worse.

When I look back at this time I could kick myself rather sharply in the derrière as all I had to do was cancel all of the work. But I didn’t have the strength or self love that I have now.

I suffer NOTHING from anyone anymore and speak my truth. It is their problem how they react to my truth.  Everyone take a lesson from that.  Own your illness, own your boundaries and refuse to be amongst negative people or people that make you feel devalued.  It’s like an insipid cancer, it will eat away at your already frail state! Get rid of negative people and situations!

THE RETREAT

The retreat was in June of that year 2014 and as each day passed I prayed for a miracle, it was like a count down to the guillotine. I was so scared, I was going to let down all these beautiful people who had paid to come and learn from me.  The hospital visit and operation had solved a few problems so at least that was sorted.

Every time I tried to reach Julianus I heard silence and found my brain would not allow the focus I needed to reach that loving alpha brain wave state.

Then something miraculous happened.

About a week before the dreaded date of the retreat, I woke up and actually felt a little energy. My pain was still there in every joint and limb but it was manageable. Our pain equation I’m sure is so extreme to other healthy people. Our ‘good’ pain day is most probably for healthy people a worry that would send them scurrying to the doctors.

So I started to get up and about, I even managed short walks with my babies. It was amazing.

As I was walking along Berry head in Devon one day, Julianus came through sure and clear .

‘This is your last chance to reach humans, use it wisely’

They had given me strength to get through the work, I just knew it, but I felt the warning I was not to abuse it.  But did I listen? No I didn’t, I made yet another one of the biggest mistakes of my life.

The retreat was at the Seekers Trust in Kent. I was left there alone with no help which really, really angered me. I was supposed to have people helping me, but I was left to cope 24/7 with all of my students.  But then the next miracle came, a lot of the students suffered with the same condition as me and were so understanding.  It was magical, they were beautiful people who helped me out tremendously and we all muddled together.  To say it was a stunning experience is an understatement!

THE SHOWS

So after a successful retreat, the shows were next.

Some of my beautiful ladies at Seekers Trust

Some of my beautiful ladies at Seekers Trust

Dartford, The Light on The Hill spiritualist centre with Trevor and Pat was my most favourite place to work, I adored it and the audience were always fantastic.  Again I was amazed at the fact I had strength and energy to work, but stupidly I took it for granted.

There was a queue running down the road in Dartford that night, despite it being sold out, people turned up on the off chance of getting in, they were shoving people in like sardines in a small can. I was gobsmacked, I had done hardly any work but here they were, all of these beautiful souls supporting my work.  The demonstration went wonderfully, I honestly thought I was back as the pure energy of the spirit people soared through my being, but it was a false prophecy. The lion part of my soul was roaring.

I managed the Grays dem as well and felt so well that I arranged to record my second guided meditation CD in London, MEETING YOUR GUIDES with the help of my ever supporting friend Mark.  I thought it would be a great way of helping people as well as some much needed funds.img_4443

I then in my new found energy booked a course to teach developing mediums back in Devon and a show there as well. I was feeling great, feeling  invincible and able to take the reins from where I had left them, whack the rumps and gallop onwards.

I was staying with my oldest friend Jo in Essex and we were having such fun, I was on a cloud of oblivion.

I then met Jay. We had everything in common. He was handsome, funny, kind and very spiritual and after my work we spent a wonderful summer exploring Devon and Cornwall.  Thoughts of bed bound misery and pain were like a fleeting cloud in a gale force wind. Don’t get me wrong I was still in pain and slept when I could but NOTHING like I was before.

Jay and I became close friends but not in a romantic way so I kept asking why he was in my life as I had friends already.

I was still homeless. Still staying at friends homes, I had my mobile home repossessed in Devon as the caravan site managers were monsters and wouldn’t help me at all.  But even though it hurt deeply, I seemed to cope with it.

MY FIRST HOME

In Devon I used to pass this old cottage on the grounds of Kingswear cemetery. I adored it and used to joke saying it was my house.

Well one night my nan came into the bedroom from spirit and said ‘Go on that house thing’ I then saw a vision of Rightmove.  As I was still suffering with insomnia and restless leg syndrome I thought ‘why not, it will fill the hours’. The first picture was the cottage at the Cemetery to rent, I couldn’t believe it.

Don’t ask me why I asked to view it as I didn’t have a penny to my name and couldn’t get a deposit together, but I went along with it as almost a fantasy. I was staying with my friend Janet back in Devon then.  I fell in love with this old crumbling cottage but had no money and no hope of renting it.

Then I thought of Jay. Without even blinking he agreed to lend me the money for the deposit and the first five months rent! I had only known him a little while, anyone else I wouldn’t even have contemplated asking.

My new back garden!

My new back garden!

He said to me as I was moving in out of the blue, ‘Your dad sent me here. To give you a home and help you‘ as if he was talking about the weather!

I froze and thought about it.  It hit me like a lightening bolt,  ‘My God, he’s an Earth angel, he has been sent to help me!’

 

In fact without his input over the next couple of months I would still be homeless and in despair.

Earth angels are humans that have such a high resonance in their energy that they can bring messages from the Divine without realising it. They are also sent to people to help guide them and walk with them on their path.  Most of them don’t have a clue that they are one.  They can be in our lives for five minutes, five weeks or for our whole lifetime.  A great example of this is addressed in the book ‘The Celestine Prophecies‘.

Earth Angels

Before we incarnate we create a blue print of our life map that we want to experience on Earth. When we need certain souls to come back into our lives, we mark them on our ‘map’ and they appear. You will, normally, if they are to walk your path feel an inexplicable draw to them, whether they are male or female.  They usually are part of your soul cluster which I will explain in another post.

ANGELS WITH GLORIA HUNNIFORD

When I was asked to do ANGELS with Gloria Hunniford for Sky, I was in two minds.  I could be made to look an idiot or it could help reach people.

On the Angels set with Gloria Hunniford

I was in Sainsburys at the veg aisle and this old lady shuffled up to me and said, ‘You are so good at what you do, so go and do it!’

I stood there transfixed. She then walked away as if she had never said a word to me.  That night in the bath a feather fell onto my shoulder I watched it fall from the ceiling! I knew it was the right thing to do, so I agreed.

Typical example of a brief Earth angel ‘shove’ message as I call them.

Look out for them, they are everywhere.  They may be in your life already.

LOOKING FORWARD

So, earth angel in tow in the form of Jay,  I looked forward to my new home.

This was November 7th 2014, again I failed to see the significance of this spiritual date.

Little did I know that my life was going to shatter into little pieces yet again and the next phase of boot camp was to take me to my limits, beyond anything I could imagine.


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ME Myself and I. My Soul Diaries 6

YOU ARE TO WRITE WHAT YOU HAVE DREAMT

The Sunday after my bumble bee episode, I accumulated another tool to add to my spiritual itinerary. It seemed that in the last week the heavens were initiating everything they could to get me back in a positive mind space and strength to fight.

YOU CAN HEAL YOUR LIFE

My friend randomly said, ‘I don’t know why, but you need to watch this.

Now I had read the book and worked on the exercises contained within it.  This book is priceless, if you find yourself in the wilderness, lost and desperate get this book or watch the DVD.  This book gives you the compass, map and route to find your way home.  When I watched the video, I cried through most of it listening to the individual stories of people’s struggles and triumphs.  It gave me another kick up the backside in wanting to get back on track mentally and spiritually.

YOU CAN HEAL YOUR LIFE by LOUISE HAY is a ‘must have’ to adorn your book shelf. It is like my personal bible.

There are such beautiful illustrations in the book and the affirmations and guidance in finding a happier, more contented you, are simply priceless.  I recommend getting the book rather than downloading it as the visual quality of each page can’t be missed!

You can heal your life by Louise Hay

This is the best copy for illustration

This is the best copy for illustration

So now I was ‘working it’ thinking about my life, changing all the negativity into positivity.  Even when the pain became unbearable I would imagine me walking through the Crystal Palace trying to distance myself from my mutinous body.  But believe me it was very difficult in the early days. I had a night just after that Sunday where my reality hit and I felt desolate yet again.

Sometimes in the dark hours your mind works overtime and mine was working like a jet fuelled engine. I cried out and said to whoever wanted to listen ‘I get it, but why? You need to deliver something as I am not going to survive with only stupid little signs, HELP ME!’ I was sobbing like a baby, I just wanted a lifeline, a reason for being.

THE DREAM

Now I know I have already put this story of my dream in a different blog but it is SO incredible I will mention it again.

The following morning after shouting the odds to up above I was awoken by my friend banging my door with the hoover.  I was so frustrated as I was in the middle of the most magnificent dream.  There were tears flooding down my face and my heart was beating out of my chest, I was literally breathless.  The dream was euphoric, the colours, feelings and visions held such a vibrancy I could do nothing but yearn to be back in it’s magnificence.  It was 7.30 so I though I would get a cup of tea and see my friend before she left for work. Well that wasn’t going to happen!

A voice that I recognised as I can only describe as angel vibration mixed with Julianus said , ‘GO BACK TO SLEEP!’

Now, because the spirit world contact us a lot in our dreams I have taken time to study dream phenomena.  Incidentally I have this fab dream analysis site, it is spot on when I look up what my dream means.  When our loved ones and guides can’t reach us in the waking hours they will blend with us during dream state where they can send information without our consciousness interfering and also give us a cuddle! That is why they cope so well as they can be with us whenever they like, but unfortunately for us we can’t, unless we meditate of course..

Here’s a link to the dream site Dream analysis

KATRINA

hurricane-katrian-looters-ap05083005104

 

I have always had intense dreams but I really started to take it seriously when I started to have prophetic dreams.  The one of hundreds that comes to mind was when I dreamt that I was standing on a beach in New Orleans, it was sunny and glorious but then this huge wave washed over me and I was thrashed around until I found myself in this main high street with dead bodies and sharks floating around me.  I looked up and saw a shop sign and it had ‘Katrina’s’ written on it.

A few weeks later hurricane Katrina smashed through New Orleans and when I saw a picture of the high St in New Orleans I was nearly sick. I had seen it coming but who would have listened to me and what could I have changed? I have asked this of Julianus, he said, ‘You are not there to warn, you are there  just listening to the highest vibrations that have shaken through the Universe and of those to come.’

So I now mention it on social media, the dream I have, just to give credit to prophetic dreaming, very frustrating.  I even dream of celebrities, I remember a warning one with Gary Barlow, he was in a bank looking very stressed. I sent him a message on twitter! (Yes I did feel like a nutter!) About a fortnight later he was under investigation for tax evasion. I saw the riots in the UK quite soon before they erupted in our towns and cities, I put it on Facebook and lots of people acknowledged it, which was good.  If it’s to do with a murder though, then I always send what I have to the investigation team, no doubt they chuck it in the bin, but I have done my bit..

I wish we were more like America and psychics were used as help on investigations, as I have had so much information before that came out correct when the perpetrator was eventually caught.

Any way back to my dream, my life changer.

I know that usually we only dream in seconds, but I went back to sleep and awoke 5 hours later on conclusion of the dream.  I was like a woman possessed, it was like returning from oblivion.  The same voice then said, ‘You shall write what you have dreamt’

MY READING

Now I have to take you back a few years, I was getting a reading from a medium called Bill, funnily enough at St Cecilia’s spiritualist church in Rayleigh, Essex. (Remember St Cecilia’s, my home in Rome?)

It was just after I had seen the three men in the window at my first mediumship evening, after I was retired from the police service in 2003.

Bill said to me, ‘You are going to be an important  spiritual teacher and reach thousands of people.  You will also write and this will reach millions.’

I smiled and said thank you, but writing? Nah.  Don’t get me wrong I have always loved creative writing and have always kept a soul journal,  I wrote permanently in my old job, detailed descriptive hundred page statements from rape victims and murder victim families, but books and stuff?  I didn’t think I had it in me.

Recently a consultant from America asked me, ‘What was the inspiration for your book?’  I had to be honest, ‘Erm, a dream? I had no inspiration what so ever!’

WAKING UP

So back to waking up,  still crying from the emotion of the dream, I walked into the lounge and typed the first five chapters then and there.  The words spilled from me like a geyser, exploding out on the white blank document before me.

Even the character names were given to me in a second.  None of it came from my imagination.  I later googled the names out of curiosity.  I was shocked when I saw that the names and descriptions of the characters in the book were the exact people described in the Old Testament, it was surreal.

I was completely obsessed with the story, it was so epic and so unbelievably reflective of our planet that I was humbled as I wrote.  I then learned as I was given more and more information that it was not only going to become a book it was to be a trilogy.  I even started getting visions of the actors that would play the characters! (Gerard Butler, Archangel Michael, lol)

Now and then  the human part of me whispered my concerns and fears, ‘This will never be published, agents will laugh at your effort, one in a million chance, blah blah blah.’ The lion part of the soul, is what Julianus calls it.

But then the spiritual part of me was screaming, ‘This has been channelled from the Heavens, you are their messenger, this is what they want you to tell humankind. To educate them through fiction.’ That was the mouse talking.  More about the mouse and the lion another time!

LIFE PATH CHANGE

My life path from that single dream had been changed in a dramatic way.  I now had something to focus on, something to work on during the lonely hours and a dream of being a published writer of this type of fiction.  I couldn’t reach the masses from the stages any longer, but I possibly could through my words.  I was already doing that through articles in magazines but certainly not on an epic scale such as a trilogy!

It was an epiphany.  It hit me like a bolt of lightening, as I then remembered that reading from St Cecilia’s. ‘You shall write for millions’ this spurred me on and in a few months the first book was finished.

If you have read my other blog entry from ages ago, you will know that I have been provided with an unusual mentor! I was told by Julianus that Elizabeth Bowen was helping me. I googled her, she was a Victorian supernatural fiction writer!

elizabeth

The reason why I have been told to do this in fiction is because Julianus explained that it would reach more people.  It would be a fictional story but laced with angelic and celestial fact throughout the plot.  Genuis!

So the plot involving forbidden love, action, death, evil, love and all things juicy has an important message laced within it.  We need a HUGE wake up call, we have to realise that as a species we are killing ourselves and our planet and things have to change.

As I write this I am getting goose bumps, as the magic of the book seriously transports you.  I furtively asked one of my best friends mum, Lin to read it and critique it.  I knew I would get honesty and harsh critique if I deserved it.

She had read the first few chapters and I approached her like I was facing a headmistress with my homework.

‘Did you like it then Lin?’ I asked holding my breath.

She turned around and burst into tears and was speechless!

I think that’s a yes then! lol.

So now I had to reinvent myself as a creditable writer.  I cannot tell you the times I have re read and re written the first book.

COLUMN

The other thing I had niggling me was how was I going to get it out there, how was I to get an agent?

Back in November last year, the 7th to be precise, I  remembered that most writers with a media presence are always asked by agents if they have a column. Apparently for some reason its important.  Well I had nothing like that.  I had been out of the loop for four years, I was starting to panic.

I sent a silent thought up to Archangel Gabriel and said, ‘You know my concerns, I need some help please if you want your message to get out.‘ It didn’t occur to me that I had sent this SOS up on a very spiritually numbered day, 7 11.

THE ANGELS DELIVER

book-angel

We have heard you

The following morning I woke up in pain but planned to start researching agents to approach.  Then I sighed and had one of those Lion moments,  ‘You have no chance, you are wasting your time and limited energy,’ said the roaring beast.  Then my phone beeped and I sat reading in complete shock what had just been sent to me.

I was asked to be the columnist in Fate and Fortune as the Psychic Detective! How the hell had that happened?  I had not been working for years, but here it was in black and white. Tears of gratitude coursed down my face as I raised my eyes  to the sky and choked  ‘Wow you work fast! Thank you‘ to Archangel Gabriel.  To be asked was an honour and obviously I adore my subject matter, investigating mysteries!

They were helping me, they had heard me, I was going to get this book out, I just knew it.

My Column as The Psychic Detective

My Column as The Psychic Detective

So in your darkest times, especially battling chronic illness, whether you believe in angels or not ask them for help, what’s the worst that can happen?

So back to 2014, as I proceeded along my boot camp schedule, writing frenzied chapters and trying to cope, I realised one day that I had committed to a spiritual retreat in Kent, I sank into a dreaded blackness. How the hell was I going to do it or get out of it?  It had been honoured and sold out for a year, I desperately didn’t want to let the students down, but I was far too ill.

I also met someone that little did I know was going to walk my path as my Earth Angel.

Footnote: I apologise for accidentally sending this out before I had edited it.  As you would have seen, I am writing on a brain fog day, so for me it’s harder than most to write! xx

 


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Two Worlds Magazine and news!

Hello all!

Well things have been running along very nicely.  Thank you for all of your lovely comments, emails and messages regarding my article in The Two Worlds magazine www.twoworldsmag.co.uk.  I haven’t seen it yet, I do hope it comes across well.  I do like to write for magazines as I really do like my experiences to reach the multitudes and help them in any way I can.

The Faerie Tea Rooms have been a massive success, thank you so much for all of your support!  The place has been busy every day and I must give a mention to the lovely Di and Annie who have worked like trojans serving coffee and cake! Also the normal stars have been there as always, Sue, Barry, Roy, Janet and gaynor.  I am truly humbled by having such wonderful friends. 

The tea rooms will be open Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays, 11 til 3.  The more volunteers we can get, the longer we can keep open.  So if you fancy giving up some of your time for a truly great cause, call Lupton!

The best way to book readings with me at the tea rooms is to pop in or call Lupton.  I will also be doing talks and group afternoons where we can have chats on spiritual matters.  So don’t be a stranger, come along and say hi!  Visitors are normally the first to know what I’m arranging at Lupton, but I am also open to what you need and will arrange any workshops or days just for you!

Some of the happy Faerie room attendees!

 

As you know with my condition, fibromyalgia, I have extreme days of fatigue, exhaustion and pain where I can’t get out of bed, so from the bottom of my heart, I am so sorry if your readings get cancelled x They will always be honoured at some stage.

Looking forward, (if my body is willing!) to returning to Essex to do a number of intimate evenings.  Just 20 people me and the spirit world!  To book them in the comfort of your own home please call 07912 600327.

 For Devon bookings, call Lupton 01803 845800 as I have two  intimate evenings coming up in August/September.  Plus workshops and eves of mediumship.

If you join my facebook page Nicky Alan – Psychic Medium News and Events, you get first invite to all events.

Because of my health I cannot guarantee when I can do one to one readings and phone readings for the rest of the country.  The best I can do at the moment is to let you know on here and on my facebook page when I have new dates as waiting lists become far too long and unmanageable.  At the moment I’m afraid everything is sold out.

There are so many exciting projects coming up for here and Essex!  The next eve of mediumship in Essex is in Grays on 16 October.  All details under ‘Events’

It just leaves me to say, enjoy the sun when it peeps out, I’m going to have a look at our team GB heros collecting more medals and hope that we continue to make the country proud!!

Take care all, keep positive, keep smiling.  Everything in this life happens for a reason always remember that.

‘We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves.’              The Dharmapada

 

 

 


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